Publishing Poynters Book and Information-Marketing News and Ideas from Dan Poynter April 1, 2008. Copyright © Para Publishing. ISSN: 1530-5694. Published continually since 1986. Circulation: more than 34,400. F-R-E-E We don't accept advertising. We don't share your email address. DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com; http://ParaPub.com; 1-800-PARAPUB For the Small Print, scroll to end.

IN THIS ISSUE FROM PARA PUBLISHING

A. ParaNews (What’s happening) B. ParaTips (Guidance/advice on specific issues) C. ParaResources (Sources of helpful information) D. ParaThoughts (Editorial) E. ParaFreebies (Giveaways) F. ParaCalendar (Dan may be coming to visit you) G. ParaHumor (We saved the fun for last)

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A. ParaNews 1. WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH AMAZON’S KINDLE? How many have been sold? See

http://blogs.computerworld.com/amazon_what_are_you_hiding http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/retail/2008-03-11-kindle_N.htm

2. BORDERS TO CUT INVENTORY In order to jumpstart book sales, Borders will increase the number of titles it displays on shelves with the covers face-out. Consequently, inventory will shrink 5% to 10%. The chain will concentrate of the better-selling titles. See

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB120528554163329j http://news.shelf-awareness.com/msgget.jsp?mid=2195850 http://blog.publishedandprofitable.com/?p=106 http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/bookselling/ http://www.mediabistro.com/galleycat/mailbag/borders_faceout

3. DAN POYNTER IS COMING TO VISIT Please alert your writing and publishing colleagues.

Abu Dhabi, Albuquerque, Amsterdam, Auckland, Birmingham, Dallas, Durban, Goleta, Houston, Kuala Lumpur, London, Los Angeles, Melbourne, Miami, New York, Oklahoma City, Paris, Pittsburgh, Reno, Sacramento, Salzburg, Singapore, Toronto, Wellington, Teleseminars/Webinars (everywhere). (MORE to be announced soon).

See the ParaCalendar on these content-filled seminars, below. See ALL the listings. Dan will visit some states/provinces/countries several times.

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/speaking/calendar.cfm

4. AOL FOUNDER STEVE CASE TO COMPETE WITH PAYPAL --Shel Horowitz, shel@frugalfun.com

AOL founder Steve Case's latest venture is a competitor to Paypal called Revolution Money Exchange. And just as Paypal did at first, they are paying people to join--a $25 incentive. I joined last night and today when I signed in the money was in my account.

If you'd like to be sent an invitation, send me a private email with the subject line "Revolution Invite, Please" (don't get creative with your subject lines as I may not spot it easily).

Disclosure: the first 50 who get an invite from me will earn me $10 each.

Case understands viral marketing: I'm sure AOL's growth had a lot to do with sending starter disks around to the entire known universe. While pay-to-be-viral is a model most of us can't afford, it's worth looking at from a marketing theory POV.

5. BOOK PIRACY RAGES IN VIETNAM See http://www.thanhniennews.com/features/?catid=10&newsid=36750 http://vietnamnews.vnagency.com.vn/showarticle.php?num=01TAL160308

6. DAN POYNTER CAN BRING A BOOK PROGRAM TO YOUR AREA See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/speaking/speechdesc.cfm

7. GET YOUR BOOK INTO BARNES & NOBLE AND GET REVIEWS FOR BIG SALES — AN EXCLUSIVE SEMINAR Publishers & Writers of San Diego (PWSD) will hold a unique seminar on Saturday, April 12 from 9:00 am to 12:00 noon at the new Encinitas Community Library, 540 Cornish Drive. "Get Your Book into Barnes & Noble and Get Reviews for Big Sales" will be presented by Larry Cox, book reviewer and syndicated columnist for King Features, and Marcella Smith, Director of Small Press and Vendor Relations for Barnes & Noble.

Smith will offer an exclusive insider's perspective on the bookstore business, discussing placing and selling books in Barnes & Noble stores and online, the trends in bookselling, and what drives successful store promotions. Cox will teach how to have the best chance of getting a reviewer’s attention, reveal the step-by-step process of how a reviewer chooses which books to review, and discuss ways to leverage reviews for marketing impact.

Anyone interested or involved in writing, publishing, or anything related to books is encouraged to attend this one-time-only seminar. Cost for the event is $117 ($97 for members of PWSD). Space is limited, so get details and make reservations now at www.PublishersWriters.org.

8. GETTING PUBLISHED A TELESEMINAR WITH DAN POYNTER. How to make the choice: Finding the right agent, locating the right publisher and/or self- publishing. A PaperPoint presentation; just like being there. Get the handout with all the slides and then listen to Dan explain the fastest, surest way to publication. May 13. See details at www.solutionsforwriters.com/dopp/77890.

9. THE 2008 PUBLISHING UNIVERSITY (May 27-29 at the Wilshire Grand Hotel, Los Angeles, CA.)

Do you know that Publishing University… --Is the largest educational event for independent book publishers? --Offers more than 80 class offerings in nine tracks over three days and half are new this year? --Offers an advanced track and advanced classes for previous attendees and experienced publishers? --Is attended by more than 600 publishers from around the world?

--Classes are taught by the best practicing professionals in book publishing? --Teaches you to work the numbers before making decisions; analyze P&L and ROI; plan, budget and create a fiscally-sound company? --Gives you insights and ideas you can use immediately? --Helps you turn your dreams and passions into reality and put some hard-earned money in your pocket?

See the classes at http://www.pma-online.org/pmau/2008/template.aspx. Register at http://www.pma-online.org/pmau/2008/registration.aspx. Use Discount Code PMAPU08 and save $50. Fmi: 310-372-2732, e-mail: info@pma-online.org

10. WRITING NON-FICTION IN AUDIO by Dan Poynter This full book, MP3 download, describes the New "Book" Model: the technology has finally arrived to enable us to write, produce, sell and promote books faster, easier and cheaper. You will discover how to build your book rather than just write it. You will multipurpose your "book" into downloadable, CD and eBook versions. You will wring maximum value out of your work by spinning off audiotapes, videotapes, magazine excerpts, foreign-language editions and more. In fact, Writing Nonfiction will be your constant reference on writing and producing books as well as marketing your manuscript. The voice talent is Dan Snow. See http://www.lulu.com/content/178347

11. BORDERS EXPLORES SALE, SUSPENDS DIVIDEND Book retailer Borders Group suspended its quarterly dividend and said it was reviewing strategic options, including the sale of some or all of its businesses. See

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/016f112a-f670-11dc-bda1000077b07658

And

http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6543507.html

12. SHAMELESS NEW PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT—From Para Publishing. Write your book by-the-numbers: just fill in the blanks. You have heard of paint-by-the-numbers. It means filling in the blanks according to a pre-determined plan. PAINT-by-the-numbers is a step-by-step outline that makes you look like a master. This system in a binder shows you how to WRITE-by-the-numbers. Writing books is hard work—unless you have a plan. Without a roadmap, it is easy to get lost. Without noticeable progress, it is easy to become discouraged and lose momentum. Dan Poynter will supply you with a 33-page book-writing template in a 3-ring binder. You just fill in the blanks. Each page of the frontmatter, chapter headings and backmatter tells you what to put on that page—your book is structured and ready for your material. See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/information/writing.cfm#mbp

Writing-by-numbers will accelerate your book project by helping you visualize the entire project and by guiding you through the writing process.

13. GREAT NEW BOOK…AND DAN IS IN IT! Have you ever asked yourself these questions:

-Why am I here? - What is the purpose of my life? -How can I make more of an impact? If you were offered the answers to these burning life questions, would you listen?

Author, speaker, life coach and entrepreneur, Keith Leon, in his new book, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Discover The Purpose Of Your Life, takes you on the personal life journeys of inspirational self-growth leaders (including 10 teachers from the hit movie, The Secret), successful entrepreneurs, entertainers, educators and healers. Read the stories of well-known people who have found their answer to these questions, and find out when and how they became clear on their life’s purpose. What do they believe about themselves, how do they continue believing it, and how do they keep going when other people (or the voice inside their own head) says, “Who do you think you are to attempt that or do that or claim that?” You will find the answers to these questions and more inside this book!

Because I am among those featured in it, I wanted to personally invite you to be one of the very first to own this groundbreaking new book. When you order today, you’ll receive valuable bonus gifts you can use right now to improve your life.

To discover more, visit

http://www.on2url.com/app/adtrack.asp?MerchantID=120919&AdID=370111

14. TO CHANGE YOUR SUBSCRIPTION ADDRESS to this ezine, please go to http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/newsletter.cfm. Unsubscribe your old address and subscribe your new one. To recommend this ezine to another writer or publisher, simply forward the entire newsletter. He or she will thank you. SEND YOUR NEWS ITEMS to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com

NOW, SIT DOWN AND WRITE SOMETHING

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Do you have friends in the book business? Think how appreciative they will be if you forward this newsletter to them. Go on. Do it now.

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B. ParaTips 1. IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU FOR THE TIME.....ANSWER THE QUESTION Don't tell them how to build a watch. --Rick Frishman--Founder of Planned TV Arts, http://www.plannedtvarts.com

You are now an author! And you have to communicate like an author. Be Brief.

Know what you are going to say and say it in as few words as possible.

You are being judged every day - by everyone you meet. So practice

getting your points down to 30 seconds. And Yes - Remember the KISS

RULE. Keep It Simple Stupid. Simple wins....verbose sucks....

Practice- practice- practice

2. LET YOUR CLIENTS KNOW ABOUT YOUR PUBLICITY AND YOUR PROSPECTS, TOO. --Pam Lontos, PR/PR, http://www.prpr.net

One business consultant was interviewed as an expert in USA Today about the techniques she used when hiring employees. When the story was published, the consultant sent an e-mail to her current clients, as well as five prospective clients, announcing the article. With that e-mail, she was able to close the deal on consulting jobs for three out of five prospective clients!

3. YOUR OWN LIVE TALK SHOW --Clint Greenleaf, Greenleaf Book Group LLC, http://www.greenleafbookgroup.com

Set up your own live talk show with BlogTalkRadio http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ and be heard around the world. With more than 500 shows in its Books category, BlogTalkRadio is gaining popularity with authors. BlogTalkRadio uses both social networking and Internet radio broadcasting to help members connect with their audience.

There is no need for radio equipment to launch your own show, you just

need a phone and Internet connection. Listeners can tune in live to the Internet radio shows and even call in to comment or ask questions. The shows are also archived and available via RSS and iTunes. BlogTalkRadio helps you promote your show by offering a media player and promotional button that you can easily embed in your own website or blog. The social networking tools allow listeners to discuss and share your show with others.

There is no cost associated with the radio shows, unless your phone carrier charges you for long distance calls. For more information check out BlogTalkRadio¹s FAQs http://www.blogtalkradio.com/FAQ.aspx. http://www.greenleafbookgroup.com

4. WHAT CAN THE PMA, THE BOOK PUBLISHERS ASSOCIATION, DO FOR YOU? See http://www.pma-online.org/memben.cfm http://www.pma-online.org/membonly.cfm

5. STUDY BOOK TITLES --Arnold Howard, www.paragonweb.com One of the best ways to come up with a great title is to see a list of the best examples you can find.

Whenever you find a great book title (i.e. while looking for books at Amazon), add the title to a list that you keep in a Word document. Place each title on a separate line. After you have compiled 30 or more titles, rate them with A (great), B (excellent), or C (good). Place the A, B, or C in front of each title. Then go to Table, select Sort, and alphabetically sort the list.

This list will be invaluable to you.

==SHARE YOUR TIP. Send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com

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Your colleagues in publishing would love to know about this newsletter. Why not forward it to them now?

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C. ParaResources 1. RETIREMENT HOME FOR THE BOOK TRADE The Retreat is unique in that it is the only estate dedicated to providing homes for people who have worked in book publishing, distribution or sales. See

http://www.bookpatrol.net/2008/03/refuge-for-booksellers.html

2. BOOK PROMOTION MAILING LISTS Magazines, newsletters and other places to send review copies and news releases. See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/maillist.cfm

3. NEED SOMEONE TO DESIGN, TYPESET AND LAYOUT YOUR BOOK? See the Supplier List at

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/supplier.cfm

4. WANT SPECIFIC DETAILS ON BOOK PUBLISHING? See our Instant Report, downloadable for immediate delivery. Each has been recently updated. See

http://dansentme.com/sites/para/resources/allproducts.cfm

602 Interviews, How Authors Get On Radio & TV 603 Book Printing. At the Best Price 604 How to Price Your Book 605 Locating the Right Distributor 606 Publishing Fiction & Poetry 607 Publishing Contract: Author-Publisher 608 Your Publication Date 609 Blurbs For Your Books, Testimonials, endorsements & quotations

610 Children's Books, Resources for Writing, Producing and Promoting Juveniles 611 Newsletter Publishing; A Resource Guide 612 Bestsellers, What They Are & How To Make Them 613 Cook Books, Resources for Writing, Producing & Promoting Books on Food 614 Selling Books Through The Gift Trade 615 pBooks to eBooks, Creating Digital Reading 616 Travel Books, Resources for Writing, Producing & Promoting Guidebooks 617 New Age Books; Resources for Writing, Producing & Promoting Books on metaphysics, the occult and new thinking 618 Religious Books 619 Write It Once - Sell it Forever, How to Update Your Books 620 Your Book Writing & Publishing Calendar 622 Cooperative Book Promotion 623 Questions and Answers on Book Publishing 624 How to Set up & Run a Successful Book Publishing Business 625 Selling Books to Catalogs 626 Raising Money to Publish Books 628 Canadian Book Publishing 629 Making The Web Pay 630 Selecting a Book Title That Sells. 631 Covers That Sell Books 632 Bookshelf, Selling Books From Other Publishers 633 Beyond Remainders 634 Selling Books In The United States 635 AudioBooks, Turning Books & Speeches Into Spoken-Word Tape & Disc Products 636 Insurance for Publishers; Protecting Your Book Company 637 Selling Books To The Military Market 638 Screenwriting: Fiction (theatricals) & Nonfiction (documentaries) 639 Autograph Parties & Signing Books 640 Book Promotion Made Easy: Event Planning, Presentation Skills & Product Marketing 641 Merchant Status: Credit Cards for Publishers 642 Large Print Books: Making your Work Easier to Read.

5. WANT TO DOWN LOAD DAN POYNTER’S BOOKS AS eBOOKS? See

http://www.mobipocket.com/en/eBooks/searchebooks.asp

6. GET A COMPLETE LIST OF DAN POYNTER'S BOOKS, REPORTS, DISKS, AND TAPES. See http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/allproducts.cfm

==SHARE YOUR RESOURCE. Send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com

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I dare you to forward this ezine to writers and publishers.

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D. ParaThoughts READING IS GOING DIGITAL

--Dan Poynter

I recently discovered that the paper periodicals delivered to my home contain old “news.” The Wall Street Journal and dozens of magazines have some interesting articles but their news is a day, a week or a month old. I’ve already seen it or read it on TV or the Internet.

Google.com/Alerts tells me what is happening on the web, news, blogs, forums, etc.

Of course, I have a unique situation: I travel some 6,000 miles/week. I am just not home most of the time. The magazines pile up and present me with a solid-waste disposal challenge.

So, I spent some time emailing and calling to cancel magazine subscriptions. Now I won’t be guilty of allowing publishers to waste print and postage on a subscriber who will never read their periodicals.

Classified ads have moved to Craigs List, stock quotations have moved to Yahoo, up-to- the-minute news is reports by Levine Breaking News (http://www.mlevineonline.com/), AOL and others. People are reading forums and blogs. People are saving trees by annoying electrons.

Reading is going digital.

==SHARE YOUR editorial thought. Send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com

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Please Copy\Paste this newsletter into your email program and then send it to your colleagues in publishing. They will appreciate you.

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E. ParaFreebies 1. FIND THE PERFECT WORD WHEN IT REALLY MATTERS from BARBARA MCNICHOL EDITORIAL Refer to this Word Trippers guide to clarify words that can trip you up. Explains more than 300 pairs of misused words (e.g., accept/except, further/farther) using examples in sentences. Contact Barbara McNichol, editor@barbaramcnichol.com

2. INFORMATION KITS ON SPECIFIC ASPECTS OF BOOKS – FRËE. Each kit consists of more than eight pages of details, tips and resources. Each is geared to a level of The New Book Model.

=Researching and Writing =Producing printed books, eBooks & dBooks. =Marketing, promoting & distributing. See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/infokit.cfm

3. LIST YOUR BOOK(S) FRËE ON THE PARA PUBLISHING WEB SITE. See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/resources/successstories.cfm

==SHARE YOUR FREEBIE. Send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com

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Writers and publishers love this newsletter. Why not forward it to them?

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F. ParaCalendar AUTHOR ON A SPEAKING TOUR.

Where in the world is Dan? Showing people how to write, publish and promote their books One presentation at a time.

Dan Poynter is circling the world to show people how to make a difference and make a living through their books. He shares two major programs and many specific ones.

See him in action:

http://www.speakingchannel.tv/community/dan-poynter-book-publishing/

Dan also speaks on aviation, parachutes and skydiving. See

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/speaking/index.cfm

For more information, get in touch with the Contact person listed below and see the host's Website.

ALSO SEE THE CALENDAR ON OUR WEBSITE:

http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/speaking/calendar.cfm

March 23 – April 12 ROUND-THE-WORLD SPEAKING TOUR

March 28-30. MELBOURNE, Australia. National Speakers Association of Australia (NSAA) convention. Fmi: secretariat@nationalspeakers.asn.au, 1800 090 024

April 1-2. KUALA LUMPUR. Malaysia Association of Professional Speakers (MAPS) convention. http://www.maps.org.my/events_up.asp. Fmi: Anthony Fernandez, 019 3160 444, anthony@maps.org.my

April 4-6. DURBAN, South Africa. National Speakers Association of South Africa (NSASA) convention, Sibaya Convention Centre. Fmi: Richard Mulvey, 0861 – 444888,

richard@richardmulvey.com http://www.nsasouthafrica.co.za/, http://www.nsasouthafrica.co.za/convention2008

April 19. HOUSTON. Dan Poynter on book publishing. Fmi: The Book Connection, Rita Mills, rita@bookconnectiononline.com , rmills@ghg.net, 713-937-9184, http://www.BookConnectionOnline.com

April 23. TELESEMINAR. Book Promotion for Writers, Introverts and Other Reluctant marketers with Judy Cullins & Dan Poynter. Discover how to promote your book without leaving home. In this 90-Minute Teleclass you will get these results:

-Sell more books than you ever dreamed of. -Get targeted Web traffic to your site to sell your book. -Discover the # one f.ree book promotion on the Internet. -Leverage what you have to get the word out. -Share your book with your targeted audience--your style

5:00 Pacific time 8:00 Eastern time (1 1/2 hrs). $45 includes $29 bonus reports. To register and for the Five Questions Dan and Judy will help you get answers for, go to http://www.bookcoaching.com/teleclasses.shtml --Judy Cullins, judycullins@cox.net

April 26. SACRAMENTO. Northern California Publishers & Authors (Formerly the Sacramento Publishers & Authors). Fmi: Jennifer Martin, jenmartin@surewest.net, info@norcalpa.org, http://www.norcalpa.org

May 1-3. OKLAHOMA CITY. Oklahoma Writers Federation, Inc. Convention. Fmi: Amy Shojai, (903) 868-1022, shojai@verizon.net , http://www.owfi.org/

May 10. DALLAS. The North Texas chapter of the National Speakers Association. Dan Poynter on Turning Speeches into Books. Fmi: Carlos Sanchez, Hsitraining@aol.com, http://www.speaker.org/

May 13. TELESEMINAR. Getting Published a teleseminar with Dan Poynter. How to make the choice: Finding the right agent, locating the right publisher and/or self-publishing. A PaperPoint presentation; just like being there. Get the handout with all the slides and then listen to Dan explain the fastest, surest way to publication. See details at www.solutionsforwriters.com/dopp/77890.

May 15. TELESEMINAR. Book publishing for professional speakers. The Writer-Publisher Professional Expert Group of the National Speakers Association. 10-11 AM Pacific time. Fmi: Pam Lontos, (407) 299-6128, Pam@prpr.net, http://www.NSAspeaker.org.

May 27-29. LOS ANGELES. PMA Publishing University. Nine tracks to choose from. More than 600 publishers expected. See the classes at http://www.pmaonline. org/pmau/2008/template.aspx. Register at http://www.pma-online.org/pmau/2008/registration.aspx. Use Discount Code PMAPU08 and save $50. Fmi: 310-372-2732, e-mail: info@pma-online.org

May 30-June 1. LOS ANGELES. BEA Book Fair.

http://www.bookexpoamerica.com/App/homepage.cfm?moduleid=42&appname=288

June 8 – July 8 ROUND-THE-WORLD SPEAKING TOUR

June 9. TORONTO. Turning Speeches into Books: the full New Book Model program in the afternoon plus The Book Game for Speakers, Extroverts & Others Who are Stalking Oprah in the evening. See http://parapublishing.com/sites/para/speaking/speechdesc.cfm#professionalspeaking. Toronto chapter of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. Contact Randall Craig, randall@randallcraig.com, (416) 918-5384.

June 14. AUCKLAND, New Zealand. Book writing, publishing & promoting. Fmi: Maria Carlton, maria@MariaCarlton.com, +64 (7) 853 9001, +64 (21) 849 948. http://www.PhantomPublishing.co.nz

June 16. WELLINGTON, New Zealand. PowerPoint Tips & Tricks: Illustrating Your Spoken Message with Multimedia. All about computers, remotes, which projectors are best for travel, AV carts, microphones, PA systems, labeling computers to speed setup, backup equipment, and more. This is not your usual ‘how to use’ or ‘introduction to’ PowerPoint. National Speakers Association of New Zealand, Wellington chapter. Fmi: John Faisandier, +64-4 476 8186, john@faisandier.co.nz, http://www.nationalspeakers.org.nz/

June 17 WELLINGTON, New Zealand. Book writing, publishing & promoting. Fmi: Maria Carlton, maria@MariaCarlton.com, +64 (7) 853 9001, +64 (21) 849 948. http://www.PhantomPublishing.co.nz

June 21. SINGAPORE. Book Camp with Dan Poynter on book writing, publishing and promoting. Fmi: Patrick Ang, +65-62419769, +65-98531380, PatAngLHL@singnet.com.sg. http://www.danpoynter.com.sg/

June 28. DURBAN, South Africa. Writing & Publishing Your Nonfiction Book, a seminar by Dan Poynter. Books 101: The full New Book Model programme. Fmi: Val Waldeck, +27

(0) 83 273 4700, vWaldeck@telkomsa.net July 4. LONDON, UK. "How to Write, Publish and Promote Non-Fiction Books" - a seminar with Mindy Gibbins-Klein and Dan Poynter. Fmi: Mindy Gibbins-Klein, +44-(0) 845 003 8848, mindy@bookmidwife.com, http://www.BookMidwife.com.

July 7. MIAMI. Writing & Publishing Your Nonfiction Book, a seminar by Dan Poynter. Books 101: The full New Book Model program. 6:30 to 10:00 PM. Fmi: IME Enrichment Center, Manny Sarmiento, 8181 NW 36th St, #8-D, Miami, FL 33166, TICKETFL@aol.com, 1-305-477-7600, http://www.imeglobalgroup.com

August 2-8. NEW YORK. National Speakers Association (NSA) convention. http://www.nsaspeaker.org;

15 August 12. TELECONFERENCE. Publish Your First Book. NSA Academy. National Speakers Association. FMI: Michael Soon Lee, 800-417-7325, seminars@netvista.net.

August 20 – September 15 ROUND-THE-WORLD SPEAKING TOUR

September 5-6. SALZBURG, Austria. German Speakers Association (GSA). Fmi: Claudia Haider, +49 (0) 81 41 5 35 98 59, c.haider@germanspeakers.org http://www.germanspeakers.org/de/Convention2007.php . http://www.germanspeakers.org/de/documents/Flyer_Convention_USA_070601_ck_d.p df

September 11-14. ALBUQUERQUE. Parachute Industry Association. Dan to speak on an aviation topic. See http://www.PIA.com

September 20. PITTSBURGH, PA. The Pittsburgh chapter of the National Speakers Association. Dan Poynter on Turning Speeches into Books. Fmi: Barbara Thompson, barbara@BarbaraThompson.net, (412) 851-4195.

October 11. NATICK, MA. NSA/NE. A full day on book writing and publishing. National Speakers Association/New England chapter. Fmi: Dennis Mahoney, (617) 298-0404, dennis@dennismahoney.org, http://www.nsanewengland.com/default.asp

November 7-9. BIRMINGHAM, UK. Professional Speakers Association of the UK & Ireland. (PSA). http://www.psaconvention.com/

December 14-15. ABU DHABI. Professional Speakers Association of the Middle East (PSA/ME). Abu Dhabi, UAE. Reg Athwal, Reg@RegAthwal.com, +971 (0) 43321837, Http://www.PSAME.org

2009

February 5-13. RENO. Parachute Industry Association Symposium. Http://www.PIA.com;

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HELP PUBLISHING POYNTERS-help your colleagues. This ezine relies on subscribers to send in tips and resources. So, it stands to reason, the more subscribers, the more tips. You can expand the circulation by forwarding this newletter. Your writing & publishing colleagues will thank you for being so thoughtful.

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G. ParaHumor GROANERS

Janet Hill,

cherycrk@3riversdbs.net

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. * Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. * To write with a broken pencil is pointless. * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. * The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A. * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground * The dead batteries were given out free of charge. * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. * What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway) * A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. * A backward poet writes inverse. * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. * If you don't pay your exorcist you can get r epossessed. * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A -flat miner. * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. * The guy who fell onto an upholster y machine was fully recovered. * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. * A calendar's days are numbered. * A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. * A boiled egg is hard to beat. * He had a photographic memory which was never developed. * A plateau is a high form of flattery. * Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. * Acupuncture: a jab well done.

==SHARE YOUR HUMOR. Send it to DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com (Generic Smiley)
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Para Publishing. Dan Poynter: Author (100+ books), Publisher (since 1969), Speaker (CSP). Information Products on Book Writing/Publishing/Promoting, Parachutes/Skydiving, Expert Witness & Aging Cats. PO Box 8206, Santa Barbara, CA 93118-8206 USA. Tel: +1-805-968-7277; Fax: +1-805-968-1379; Cell: +1-805-448-9009 http://ParaPublishing.com: More than 700 pages of helpful information. DanPoynter@ParaPublishing.com